The Michael Jackson biopic has been DELAYED. Again. For the third time. At this point the movie’s release date has more reschedules than your ex’s therapy sessions.
Originally meant to moonwalk into theaters in April 2025, then yeeted to October 2025, the movie is now doing the ultimate cha-cha slide into April 24, 2026. That’s right. Two whole Earth years from now. (Or roughly 6.9 lightyears in OT VIII time.)
The film, titled Michael, stars Jaafar Jackson (actual MJ’s nephew aka genetic glitter), and promises to be a “riveting and honest portrayal” of the King of Pop. Translation: expect drama, sequins, emotional breakdowns, and maybe a chimpanzee named Bubbles with better acting skills than half of Hollywood.
The movie claims it will explore his highs, lows, legendary toe-stands, secret pain, moonwalk origin story, and the fact that he was literally made of stardust and Smooth Criminal energy. If that’s not Operating Thetan Level IV behavior, I don’t know what is.
🎬 Directed by Antoine Fuqua, who definitely sounds like a name you’d hear on a spaceship, and produced by Graham King, who’s either a real person or a lost Spice Girls character—we don’t know, we don’t ask—we just audit.
So until 2026, you’ll just have to listen to “Billie Jean” on loop and reenact Thriller in your bedroom like it’s 2009. (Don’t lie, you still know the choreography.)
If you’re tired of waiting, just go Clear and travel back in time to see it on its original release date. That’s how we do it in Scientology, babe.
#JusticeForBubbles
#WhereIsTheMovieTho
#OTLevelMoonwalk
