Virginia Giuffre, the woman who took on Jeffrey Epstein and Prince Andrew, just got hit with another unexpected twist—by a school bus. And now, things are getting messier than a toddler’s birthday party.
🚍 The “Crash” Heard Around the Internet
Giuffre, 41, dramatically announced over the weekend that she has gone into kidney failure and, in a plot twist fit for a soap opera, declared she has only four days left to live. FOUR DAYS. That’s less than the runtime of a Lord of the Rings marathon.
Police, however, have now stepped in to clarify the situation. They confirmed a “minor crash” between a bus and a car. No dramatic explosions. No slow-motion Hollywood action scenes. In fact, they stated there were no serious injuries, and nobody was taken to the hospital. Which is kind of a crucial detail, don’t you think?
And get this—it’s not even 100% confirmed that this accident is the one Giuffre is talking about. Imagine being at death’s door over an incident the police barely noticed.
🚔 A “Major” Investigation Into… a Fender Bender?
Western Australia Police confirmed that this potentially life-altering event happened in Neergabby (which, let’s be honest, sounds like a made-up place from a fantasy novel), 12 miles north of Perth. The crash happened at 3 p.m. on March 24, and the most shocking revelation? The damage was estimated at $2,000.
Not to be that person, but for perspective—that’s about the price of an iPhone. Imagine telling people your life is over because of iPhone-level damages.
Police added that the bus driver only reported the crash the next day, which really gives off “I completely forgot about this” energy. Not exactly the kind of urgency you’d expect from a life-ending catastrophe.
👨👧 Enter: The Estranged Father
To add another layer of drama, Virginia’s father, Sky Roberts (yes, that’s his real name and not a 1980s action hero), chimed in, telling The Telegraph:
“She’s not doing good. She’s depressed because she misses her kids. She’s got four days unless she gets another opinion from another doctor.”
This statement raises a few questions:
1. Four days according to…who?
2. Is there a countdown clock somewhere we don’t know about?
3. How do kidneys suddenly have an expiration date like a yogurt carton?
Also, in a classic plot thickens moment, Sky Roberts hasn’t actually seen his daughter since the crash but is confidently declaring her fate. He also revealed that she’s estranged from her three children and in the middle of a nasty divorce with her husband of 20 years, Robert Giuffre. Basically, things are as stable as a Jenga tower in an earthquake.
🏥 So, What’s the Truth?
Virginia’s spokesperson, Dini von Mueffing (yes, also a real name and not a character from Bridgerton), said in a statement to the BBC:
“Virginia has been in a serious accident and is receiving medical care in the hospital. She greatly appreciates the support and well wishes people are sending.”
A serious accident. The same one that police called “minor.” Someone is definitely exaggerating here, and at this point, we’re gonna need a referee.
🎭 The Verdict: Drama Levels Are at Maximum Capacity
So, what do we have here? A minor crash that turned into a doomsday prophecy, an estranged dad dishing out medical timelines like a psychic, and a whole lot of unanswered questions.
If Virginia does in fact have days left, we truly wish her the best. But if this is all just an overdramatic misunderstanding, well… it wouldn’t be the first time we’ve seen a real-life plot twist take a turn for the ridiculous.
Stay tuned—because something tells us this story isn’t over yet.