The Chiefs’ very own 34-year-old tight end, Travis Kelce, is out here addressing his season like he’s reviewing a lukewarm pizza. Spoiler alert: It’s a little “meh.” Yeah, apparently it’s been a down year for Kelce… but honestly, what is “down” when you’re already one of the best? Is this like rich people complaining that their yacht only has two pools instead of three?
“We’re winning games, but like, we’re not exactly playing ‘pinnacle of human achievement’ football,” Travis said on his podcast, New Heights, which is also known as the “I’m Just Going to Casually Drop My Entire Career Drama on You” show. “Everyone’s got some cleaning up to do.” (Does this mean he’s volunteering for post-game locker room cleanup? No? Okay, cool, moving on.)
“And, yeah, about that drop in the fourth quarter…” Kelce sheepishly admitted, like a guy who just remembered he left his keys in the fridge. “I was basically doing my best impression of a guy trying to juggle while riding a unicycle on fire. Maybe trying to do too much? Yeah, that’s probably it. Couldn’t seal the deal on third down. Classic me!”
Yes, this is peak Kelce: owning up to dropping the ball—literally—on a crucial play, which every fan is more than happy to remind him about. But in true Travis fashion, he’s all like, “Eh, it happens! You win some, you drop some.”
But that’s not all. Apparently, the real issue is that defenses have turned into Kelce-stalkers. Picture this: Travis is on the field, and opposing teams go, “Hey, you know that giant football-catching beast over there? Let’s put not one but TWO dudes on him. Why? Because Patrick Mahomes is dangerous, and if we let him toss the ball to Kelce, we might as well hand them a touchdown and our dignity.”
Kelce continued, “Listen, I’m not making excuses, but let’s just say defenses are treating me like the last slice of pizza at a party—everybody wants a piece, and I’m getting double-teamed like it’s dodgeball and I’m the last one standing.”
This Sunday, the Chiefs will be up against the Los Angeles Chargers, which means Kelce will probably have two more defenders permanently glued to him like mismatched socks. But does Travis care? Of course not!
“Look, whatever it is, it’s football, baby!” Kelce added with a smile that says, “I’m just here for a good time.” He shrugged off the whole “targets” drama faster than you can say “Mahomes magic.” “I just want the offense to crush it, and I think Pat’s out here making solid decisions and playing chess while everyone else is stuck playing checkers.”
Stats? Who cares! Targets? Eh! Kelce’s just out there trying to win and maybe catch a ball or two if someone could pry the entire defense off him for a second. Catch him this Sunday—if you can.
