Alert the Swifties and clear the aisles at Target—Taylor Swift has done it again! The 34-year-old mastermind behind the banger “Florida!!!” is back atop the Billboard 200 with her cough not-so-subtle masterpiece, The Tortured Poets Department. It’s a move so poetic, even the Billboard chart had to grab a tissue.
What’s Old is New Again (With Bonus Vinyl Action)
The album, originally dropped eight months ago, has clawed its way back to the No. 1 spot like a cat who knows where the treats are hidden. Why? Because Taylor said, “Let’s sprinkle some Anthology deluxe magic on this baby!” The revamped version landed on November 29th, exclusively at Target—because nothing says exclusive like bulk snacks and throw pillows.
Featuring four vinyls, two CDs, and probably a secret note about how Jake Gyllenhaal still hasn’t returned her scarf, this deluxe version was snapped up faster than a concert ticket during presale. Swifties pushed the album to 405,000 units in just one week, which included a jaw-dropping 368,000 in traditional album sales. Taylor, clearly tired of breaking other people’s records, casually shattered her own record for the biggest album week. Who does that? Oh right, Taylor.
Whitney Houston’s Ghost Is Probably Applauding
This marks The Tortured Poets Department’s* 16th (yes, sixteenth!) week at No. 1. Back in July, Taylor made history when the album spent its first 12 weeks ruling the charts, dethroning none other than Whitney Houston, whose self-titled album Whitney held the previous record at 11 weeks. Whitney’s iconic spirit was probably like, “Girl, you’re good,” while sipping celestial champagne.
And In the Chart’s Fine Print…
While Taylor reigns supreme, let’s give some props to the runner-ups. Kendrick Lamar’s GNX is chilling at No. 2, probably thinking, “At least I’m ahead of the Wicked soundtrack,” which is holding strong at No. 3. Juice WRLD’s posthumous album, The Party Never Ends, lands at No. 4, proving the party really doesn’t end. And Sabrina Carpenter’s Short n’ Sweet rounds out the top five, because not everyone can be a tortured poet.
So, what’s next for Taylor? A greatest hits album featuring her sneezes? A collaboration with Target’s home décor line? Whatever it is, we’ll probably buy it—vinyl, CDs, scarves, and all.
