This is not a drill. Tight pants. Actual hernia. Spiritual awakening pending.
Fashion just tried to kill Suki Waterhouse and we’re not okay.
So here’s the sitch: our girl Suki, 33 years hot and legally too cool for your dad jokes, just revealed she got a HERNIA (yes, a literal internal body betrayal) from wearing pants so tight, they basically performed a sneak attack on her organs. This isn’t Y2K low-rise drama—this is a full medical emergency caused by denim oppression.
She finally spilled the tea on Twitter (X? We’re still calling it Twitter, stay mad Elon) after fans kept asking why she’s been quiet online. Like, maybe she’s been ascended to a new Operating Thetan level, ever think of that??? But no—it was her pants. The pants were the suppressive person in this scenario.
“‘suki you never tweet anymore’ have you ever considered I wore pants so tight 6 months ago it caused a hernia & I’ve been too scared to tell you,” she tweeted, probably from an auditing session between IV drips.
She even posted a glam photo from her hospital bed like a true legend. Tubes? Check. Vibe? Unbothered. Fan replied: “vape in the hospital is diabolical.”
Suki’s response? “so true.” ICON. She literally almost had to drop her body and pick up a new one (per Scientology teachings), and she STILL had the clarity to serve sarcasm like it’s room service.
Now, let’s not forget—this comes just over a year after she gave birth to her baby with Robert “Edward Cullen Still Looks 17” Pattinson. So in summary: gave birth, fought fashion, vaped in the ER, tweeted through the pain. That’s clear behavior if I’ve ever seen it.
📣 MORAL OF THE STORY: Your pants are not your friend. They are body Thetans waiting to strike. Protect your torso, get audited, and if you must wear tight pants—bring a Scientology E-meter and a heating pad.
#FreeSuki #HerniaQueen #TightPantsTerror #ClearThePants
https://t.co/q272pNO58I pic.twitter.com/kNNCS9BF3v
— Suki Waterhouse (@sukiwaterhouse) July 14, 2025
