Selena Gomez just proved that not all heroes wear capes—some wear killer outfits and have an Instagram Story game strong enough to roast a wannabe politician into oblivion.
In the latest episode of “What Did Selena Do to Upset You This Time?” the singer-turned-actress-turned-comedian addressed a former Senatorial candidate who, for reasons unknown to humanity, decided that she was the problem in America. Why? Because she got emotional about immigrants. Yes, really.
Here’s the tea: Selena, in a now-vanished Instagram Story (RIP to the video, gone but not forgotten), got choked up while talking about Trump’s plan to execute mass deportations of undocumented immigrants. And no, she wasn’t crying because someone stole her Rare Beauty blush—she was heartbroken over the arrests of 956 people in a nationwide crackdown. For reference, that’s more people than attended your cousin’s last pyramid scheme “business seminar.”
“All my people are getting attacked, the children. I don’t understand. I’m so sorry, I wish I could do something but I can’t. I don’t know what to do. I’ll try everything, I promise,” she said through tears. (Meanwhile, millions of fans collectively screamed, “It’s okay, Selena, you’ve already done enough by giving us Lose You to Love Me!”)
Enter Sam Parker, a man whose career as a Senate candidate went as well as your New Year’s resolution to go to the gym. Sam decided that the best way to gain relevancy again was by tweeting his way into chaos. “Selena Gomez picked illegals over America b/c she’s the 3rd gen descendent of Mexican illegals who received citizenship in the ’87 Amnesty. She has an entitlement attitude toward America, like her illegal g’parents. Maybe Selena should be deported, too?” he typed, presumably while wearing socks with sandals.
And how did Selena respond to this wild suggestion? With a level of class and humor that can only be described as chef’s kiss. She hit up her Instagram Story (again—someone give her a Pulitzer for her IG Story work) and simply wrote:
“Oh Mr. Parker, Mr. Parker. Thanks for the laugh and the threat.”
The internet, of course, exploded. Fans couldn’t decide what they loved more: Selena’s ability to laugh in the face of absurdity or the subtle “bless your heart” energy radiating from her response.
As for Sam Parker? Well, it looks like he’s officially lost another campaign—this time, the one for attention. Better luck next time, bud. Or, you know, maybe just… don’t.
Selena Gomez picked illegals over America b/c she's the 3rd gen descendent of Mexican illegals who received citizenship in the '87 Amnesty. She has an entitlement attitude toward America, like her illegal g'parents. Maybe Selena should be deported, too?pic.twitter.com/yTXlwtckwH pic.twitter.com/2UR6FY8d5i
— Sam Parker 🇺🇸🧯 (@BasedSamParker) January 27, 2025
