Welp, it’s official: Prince Harry just got ghosted harder than your situationship on Valentine’s Day. The British Court of Appeal has basically told him, “You’re on your own, pal,” ruling that he will not get automatically funded police protection every time he pops over to the UK for tea, crumpets, or courtroom drama.
Let’s break it down: Hazza was hoping he and his fam could roll up to the UK and get the royal treatment (a.k.a. publicly funded security) like in the good ol’ palace days. But the court said “nah, bruv” and backed the committee’s decision to evaluate his security case-by-case instead of rolling out the red carpet every time he lands at Heathrow.
Harry did try to plead his case, flying in last month like “Hey guys, remember me? Ex-Royal, still kind of a big deal?” He claimed his current protection plan is “manifestly inferior”, which sounds like a royal way of saying “It sucks.”
But British government lawyer James Eadie clapped back with some Shakespearean sass, saying Harry was “failing to see the wood for the trees,” which roughly translates to “You’re missing the big picture, Your Ginger Highness.”
Now, let’s rewind this royal soap opera: The drama kicked off when Harry and Meghan Markle said “Bye, Buckingham!” and peaced out of their senior royal roles. And just like that, the Home Office yanked their top-tier police protection faster than you can say “Megxit.” Then in 2023, a judge slammed the door on Harry’s idea to pay out of pocket for elite UK police protection—because apparently, not even royal leftovers come à la carte.
So now, Prince Harry finds himself in a pickle—a very expensive, unprotected pickle.
But don’t cry into your scones just yet. Meghan and Harry may not have Scotland Yard on speed dial, but they are sitting on a Netflix pile of cash so tall it could have its own postcode. They can hire private security like the rest of Hollywood’s glitterati (probably ones with better sunglasses, too).
The Court of Appeal has pretty much repeated what the high court said in 2023 — “You left the castle, dude. No tiara, no taxpayer-funded bodyguards.” Better luck next appeal, Your Excellency.
