Pete Davidson, the man who’s seen New York City through thicker eyeliner and thinner jokes, graced Saturday Night Live with his presence for a sketch that’s best described as “Broadway meets… aisle five?”
Here’s What Went Down:
It all started with Pete, fresh out of whatever mysterious hideaway he’s been laying low in (probably somewhere with Wi-Fi and sarcasm), rolling into a Duane Reade. And not just any Duane Reade, but the one nearest to the Port Authority, a place where dreams go to wait for the bus. Enter his partner-in-crime for the evening, John Mulaney, the night’s host, and resident “guy who can make any situation seem like a quirky ‘90s sitcom.”
The sketch, aptly titled “Port Authority Duane Reade” (which deserves an Emmy based on its title alone), began with Mulaney, playing the slightly unhinged cashier who’s got way too much to say about people’s purchases, ringing up Pete and fellow customer Andrew Dismukes. From there, things went from New York to Broadway real quick, in true Mulaney style. Yes, they launched into a musical theater parody marathon, because, obviously.
Musicals, but Make Them… Duane Reade
First up, The Lion King—but not the version you’re thinking of. Kenan Thompson and Ego Nwodim rolled in to serenade the world about… the milk Pete was buying. Yes, you read that right. “Circle of Life” became “Circle of Lactose” and honestly, this is the kind of high-stakes drama that can only happen in a New York pharmacy.
Then, Marcello Hernandez and Mulaney went full Sound of Music on the shampoo aisle, because in case you didn’t know, sometimes they lock up the good stuff. Nothing says The Hills Are Alive quite like searching for a store employee to unlock the Pantene Pro-V.
Meanwhile, Bowen Yang had his priorities straight, skipping the Sydney premiere of Wicked to sing about a day in retail purgatory. He belted out a rendition of “Master of the House” (from Les Misérables) that really should be SNL’s new theme song.
Oh, and it wouldn’t be a Duane Reade sketch without a Chalamet reference. Chloe Fineman and the crew entered, poking fun at a Timothée Chalamet look-a-like contest, because if you’re going to be in New York, you might as well get mistaken for a French heartthrob while picking up your prescriptions.
Roll Credits
It was the chaotic New York parody we all needed. And Pete, who basically embodied the “too cool to care” customer in every city pharmacy, somehow managed to keep a straight face through it all.
So, head over to watch the full sketch, especially if you’ve ever had a cashier judge your shopping cart or stood in line for way too long to buy milk at a Duane Reade. It’s Pete’s world, and we’re all just trying to pay for our overpriced shampoo in it.
