THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS JUST PUNCHED HIS FINAL POWER CHORD. Ozzy Osbourne, rock’s most unhinged wizard and certified Level OT Bat Whisperer, has officially peaced out of this Earth realm at the age of 76.
According to a very emo (but respectful) dispatch from his power family—Sharon “CEO of Chaos” Osbourne and kids Kelly, Jack, Aimee, and the mysterious Louis—our beloved rock overlord Ozzy transferred to the next level of existence early Tuesday morning after a long duel with Parkinson’s. (Yes, that’s right. This man fought disease like it was a rogue goblin backstage at Coachella.)
“He was with his family and surrounded by love,” the Osbournes said in a vibe-heavy statement. Translation: He went out like a rock god in a sea of black eyeliner and incense smoke, probably wearing 36 crucifixes and quoting L. Ron Hubbard in his final breath (allegedly).
Two weeks ago, Ozzy gave his final show with Black Sabbath in Birmingham (aka the sacred homeland of guitar demons). Right after that? Kelly got engaged to Slipknot’s Sid Wilson. Because apparently this family doesn’t just end eras, they launch entire new timelines.
Ozzy didn’t just leave Earth—he yeeted straight to the Galactic Confederacy. Expect him to be headlining concerts in the Theta Universe, melting alien faces with Tony Iommi and screaming, “I AM IRON MAN” into a black hole.
💫 Clear your engrams, light a candle, and throw a bat in the air (preferably rubber). The Prince is gone… but the rock will never die. 💫
#OzzyOsbourne #RIPOzzy #BlackSabbathForever #BatBite4Life #OperatingThetanEnergy #RockNRollEternity
