It’s a sad day in Bieberland. Grab your tissues… and maybe a jumbo Slush Puppie.
Justin Bieber, 31-year-old pop sensation and professional hoodie enthusiast, is officially in mourning. His beloved grandpa, Bruce Dale — a man who sounds like he could out-heckle an entire hockey stadium and STILL get the senior discount — has passed away at the age of 80. The news was confirmed in a sweet and heartfelt obituary that basically said Bruce was loved by, like, everyone. Seriously, it was giving “full house,” not “empty chair.”
Bruce spent his final moments at the Rotary Hospice Stratford Perth, surrounded by family, love, and (we assume) a lifetime’s worth of snack wrappers.
Justin, naturally, turned to Instagram — the modern town square — to share a hilarious and tear-jerking tribute to his grandpa, because if there’s one thing the Biebs knows, it’s how to turn you into a crying emoji.
“Papa, I always took all your money lol,” Justin confessed, immediately setting the tone as somewhere between “sob” and “snort-laugh.”
Apparently, Gramma ran a tight ship, giving Bruce a whole twenty bucks for the week. TWENTY. DOLLARS. FOR. THE. WEEK.
And little Justin? Oh, he was the tiny, adorable financial menace convincing Gramps to blow the entire allowance on Corn Nuts, Skittles, gumballs, chuck-a-pucks, and Slush Puppies at Friday night hockey games. (Honestly, financial manipulation? Entrepreneurial king behavior.)
“Shoutout to the Jr B referees Beatty, Fagon, Flanagan lmfao,” Justin added, tossing casual shade like a seasoned Twitter troll.
Apparently, Papa Bruce was the sideline heckler of dreams — loudly letting the refs know exactly how trash their calls were. (Honestly, iconic.) Bieber joked that even in heaven, Bruce is probably STILL up there harassing Beatty for missing a cross-check.
“Can’t wait to see you again soon, Papa,” Justin wrote, adding that until then, he’ll be down here aching, remembering, and hopefully rationing his snack money a little better.
Rest easy, Bruce Dale. Heaven just gained its loudest, sassiest hockey dad — and we know he’s already making everyone up there double-check their penalty calls.
