Breaking News: Emily Goldberg, the legendary avocado enthusiast, has shuffled off this mortal coil at the ripe old age of 34, marking the end of an era of electronic dance mayhem.
Born on December 3, 1989, in the mystical land of Poway, California, Emily was the former flame of none other than the EDM sensation, Avicii. But alas, fate had other plans, and Emily succumbed to a pulmonary embolism.
This scribe, who kicked the bucket in La Jolla, California, had been duking it out with cancer like a champ throughout 2022 and 2023. But she wasn’t going down without a fight! Oh no, she announced her triumphant victory over the big C on Instagram with the sassiest caption imaginable: “Guess who just kicked cancer’s butt? Me, that’s who! #CancerFree #LivingLikeALegend.”
And to top it all off, she threw in a Snapchat pic with the text, “I lived, b*tch!” Talk about a mic drop moment!
But alas, even the mightiest warriors must eventually lay down their swords. After the tragic passing of the EDM maestro Avicii in 2018, Emily paid her respects in a heartfelt tribute. “Come on babe, don’t leave us hanging. Pick me, and I’ll shower you with love,” she reminisced, quoting lyrics from one of Tim’s songs dedicated to her. “Those words meant the world to me, even if I couldn’t quite live up to them,” she added with a touch of wistfulness.
For two glorious years, Avicii was not only her partner in crime but also her partner in dance. And now, she’s left staring at her pet bear, Bear, with a heavy heart, knowing she’ll never again witness Avicii’s signature dance moves.
As she mused on the fleeting nature of life, Emily left us with these parting words: “Keep the beats bumping, the bass thumping, and the party jumping. And when it’s all over, wake me up, because I refuse to believe this is real. #RIPAvicii #GoneButNeverForgotten.”
For those who missed the memo, Avicii tragically bid adieu to this world in Muscat, Oman, at the tender age of 28. But fear not, for his legacy lives on in the hearts and dancefloors of millions around the globe. Rest in beats, Emily and Avicii.