Brianna “Chickenfry” LaPaglia has officially leveled up, and no, it’s not her follower count this time – it’s the scale.
In a TikTok posted on December 27, the 25-year-old influencer gleefully announced that she’s gained 11 glorious pounds after navigating what she called a “toxic, awful, horrible” breakup with country crooner Zach Bryan. (Honestly, Brianna, three adjectives? Was this a breakup or a bad Yelp review?)
“We’ve got some groundbreaking news: I think I’ve gained 11 pounds!” Brianna declared, flashing a smile brighter than a ring light. “And guess what? It’s amazing because, drumroll please, I have an appetite again! I’m eating! Like, girl, you didn’t eat for a year, but maybe slow your roll before you inhale a bread factory.”
For context, Brianna spilled the tea on her weight loss during the post-split drama with Zach, 28. Stress, she revealed, turned her into a ghost of her former self – think Casper with killer winged eyeliner.
“It was like a horror movie,” she said. “I couldn’t eat. I was basically just skin and vibes. So I started force-feeding myself trash-tier food – pasta, fast food, you name it. If it had grease and regret, I was eating it.”
But now? Oh, honey, the tides are turning. “My jeans are no longer hanging off my thighs like I’m a scarecrow. The double chin? Making a strong comeback! Honestly, I don’t even think it ever fully left,” Brianna joked. “And guess what? These little things are bringing me so much joy. I’m ravenous, y’all. It’s like I’ve gone full ‘hungry wolf at a buffet’ mode.”
Her message to the world? Gaining weight isn’t the end of the world – in fact, it’s the comeback story we all needed.
“Look, it’s happening, and it’s fine. Gaining weight isn’t bad,” she added, clearly channeling her inner life coach. “Sometimes it’s a sign you’re thriving, not just surviving. And right now, I’m thriving harder than a houseplant in indirect sunlight.”
Moral of the story? Toxic exes may come and go, but your double chin will always have your back.
@ihatebriannachickenfry