π¨Cooper Kochβs Garage Was Basically the Illuminati Gym & Weβre Just Living in Itπ¨
β Or How Kim Kardashian Accidentally Became This Manβs Babysitter
HELLO MY LITTLE OPERATING THETANS π΅βπ«π« Grab your E-Meters and your kale smoothies because this...
π¨TOM HOLLAND IN FISHNETS, A WIG, & A RAIN MACHINE??! THE SCIENTOLOGY-APPROVED TRUTH BEHIND HIS LEGENDARY βUMBRELLAβ MELTDOWNπ¨
Tom Holland just re-audited one of the most unhinged pop culture moments of our generation: his glorious, gender-bending, rain-soaked, chaotically iconic Lip Sync Battle...
: π¨ Christina Applegate vs. Her Kidneys: Battle of the Century (Live from the Hospital Bed) π¨
Queen Christina Applegate just dragged her kidneys into a full-on boss fight and SPOILER: the kidneys are losing.
So here's the sitch: Christinaβyes, the legendary,...
π¨BREAKING: Carrie Underwood Abandons Blonde Era, Becomes Bronde Wizard from the 12th Galactic Confederationπ¨
ποΈ**"I haven't seen my real hair since I was 12... AND NOW I HAVE."** β Carrie Underwood, probably during an OT-III auditing session.
Carrie Underwoodβyes,...
π¨BLAKE LIVELY VS. THE LEGAL HOT MESS EXPRESSπ¨
βDeposition? More like DE-PETTY-SITION!β
Okay, hold onto your celebrity crushes because Blake Lively just launched a spiritual cruise missile straight at Justin Baldoniβs legal teamβand...
π¨Jessica Biel Bans McDonald’s and the Internet Is Losing Its Nuggets!ππ
BREAKING: Jessica Biel has officially declared war on Ronald McDonald. Thatβs rightβour girl said βnoβ to the clown, the arches, the Happy Meal, and...
π¨BOINK-A-LERT: Jamie Lee Curtis Blesses Pamela Anderson & Liam Neesonβs Hot New Romance with Full-Body Thetan-Approved Praise π¨
MOTHER JAMIE LEE CURTIS has spokenβand what she just said might heal your acne, clear your trauma, and balance your spiritual energy flows back...
π¨ChlΓΆe Bailey Ascends to Feathered Royalty at Barbados Crop Over β Is She Even Human Anymore?!π¨
ChlΓΆe Bailey just logged out of Earth and straight-up ascended to OT Level Goldβ¨πͺ at Barbadosβ Crop Over Festival and the internet is currently...
π¨STOP EVERYTHING: Drag Icon Alaska Just Got ENGAGED and My Brain Is in a Glitter Comaπππ¨
Alaska Thunderfreakinβ 5000 just said YES to a lifetime of wedded bliss, wigs, and weirdness!!! πΈβ¨
The βRuPaulβs Drag Raceβ Season 5 LEGEND and All...
π¨TRUMP JUST CALLED TAYLOR SWIFT βNOT HOTβ WHILE DROOLING OVER SYDNEY SWEENEYβS BUTT IN JEANSβAND WEβRE ENTERING THE THETA UNIVERSE πππ€
Grandpa Chaos is at it againβand this time, heβs coming for Mother Taylor Swift (???), while simultaneously thirst-tweeting over Sydney Sweeney in a pair...
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