Angelina Jolie Scores a Grape-Sized Victory Over Brad Pitt in Winery Drama

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Angelina Jolie just stomped out a major win against Brad Pitt in their never-ending battle over Miraval winery. You know, the one that makes rosé but has somehow turned into the world’s least glamorous soap opera.

A Quick Vintage Recap
This feud began fermenting in February 2022 when Brad sued Angelina, accusing her of selling her half of the winery without his royal permission. (Gasp!) Apparently, he thought he was the only one allowed to pop the cork on Miraval deals.

But things took a dark turn faster than an uncorked bottle left in the sun. Angelina’s legal team claimed Brad tried to strong-arm her into signing an NDA that would have kept her silent about some very serious allegations of abuse. And for the low, low price of an $8.5 million “hush-hush holdback,” no less! Classy.

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The Latest Twist
Enter Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Lia Martin, stage left, who just handed Angelina a tentative victory. The ruling means Brad must cough up documents and communications that Angelina claims will show he was trying to sweep a whole lot of unpleasantness under the winery rug. (Spoiler alert: This rug is probably wine-stained and a little frayed from all the drama.)

Angelina’s Lawyer Drops the Mic
Paul Murphy, Angelina’s attorney and apparent aficionado of mic-drop statements, couldn’t resist chiming in. He said:

“We are gratified that the court ruled in Angelina’s favor. After Mr. Pitt fought for years to hide this crucial evidence, he must now produce documents and communications concerning abuse, lies to authorities, and years of cover-up.”

Translation: We’re tired of this drama, but we’ll play along if we have to.

Murphy wasn’t done:

“Let’s not forget, Angelina didn’t even want to be here. She never pressed charges, she left the properties, and she even tried to sell Brad the business. Yet here we are, because he just can’t stop suing her.”

And the pièce de résistance?

“The kids want this to end, Angelina wants this to end, and maybe—just maybe—Brad should consider wrapping this up instead of treating it like his next franchise.”

What’s Next?
If Brad doesn’t simmer down, Angelina plans to unleash what she calls “evidence necessary to prove his allegations are false.” Sounds like someone’s been saving receipts like a thrifty couponer.

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Final Sip
While the world waits for the next chapter in As the Wine Barrel Turns, one thing’s clear: Miraval may make a decent rosé, but its real talent is churning out high-stakes drama. Maybe next time they can collaborate on a wine called “Petty Noir.” Cheers! 🥂

Angelina Jolie Scores a Grape-Sized Victory Over Brad Pitt in Winery Drama

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