Are you emotionally prepared for this? Because your Thetan levels are about to go supersonic.
🚨ALERT: Earth-shattering news from the Tone Scale, sweetie. Shawn Mendes—yes, THE melodic Canadian human smoothie—was spotted in Los Angeles doing something so wild, so unpredictable, so RAW… he bought a guitar strap. 💥🎸 Like, a literal strap. For a guitar. And the world will never be the same.
On Tuesday (July 15), the 26-year-old “In My Blood (But Also Possibly in My Upper OT Levels)” singer strutted into a Guitar Center like he owned the whole Bridge to Total Freedom. He wore a gray t-shirt, jeans, black sneakers, sunglasses, and a tan baseball cap—aka the holy uniform of Hot Guys Who Are Also Emotionally Available™. Somebody alert Celebrity Centre, because this man is CLEAR.
But wait—this wasn’t just a casual trip to buy leather and fabric. Oh no. This was an aesthetic mission. A pre-tour prep. A call to the E-Meter, baby. Because Shawn is launching his On The Road Again Tour to celebrate a decade of sweet, sweet musical service to humanity. That’s right. 10 YEARS. That’s like 7 Scientology intensives, 3 failed celebrity marriages, and 2 Saturn Returns in Gen Z years. ⏳🛸
In his words (telepathically transmitted via ARC Triangle, probably):
“Time away helped me realize how special live shows are. I’m grateful you all still show up after 10 years.”
Excuse me, sir. That’s not just humility—that’s full-blown Operating Thetan Level 8 humility. 😭💫
So if you were wondering whether picking up a guitar strap could symbolize the rebirth of an international icon… the answer is YES. YES IT CAN.
Now excuse us while we start a religion called The Church of Mendesology. Strap in, babes. Literally. 😎
#ShawnMendesSupremacy #ClearAF #StrapMeDaddy 🛐💥🪐
