Saturday, May 27, 2023

Instagram is Working on a Twitter-Clone, Set for Release This Summer


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Twitter’s future is as uncertain as the weather forecast during a squirrel invasion, but fear not! Meta, the company formerly known as Facebook, is jumping into the microblogging ring with its own zany creation. Brace yourself for the next major microblogging platform, brought to you by Meta, the mastermind behind all things Instagram and Facebook (cue the dramatic music).

According to a secret email obtained by the sneaky folks at TechCrunch, Meta’s new app is set to launch this summer. Imagine a text-based wonderland where you can spill your thoughts in 280 characters or less, just like the good old days of Twitter. But wait, there’s more! This app will have a spicy twist—it will be partly integrated with Instagram. So, not only will you keep your precious Instagram verification and handle, but all your followers will receive a notification demanding, I mean, politely asking them to follow you on this yet-to-be-named platform. Talk about an offer you can’t refuse!

Now, prepare to have your mind blown by Meta’s genius plan. Their text-based extravaganza will be decentralized and interoperable with Mastodon. Don’t worry, I had to Google what Mastodon is too. Turns out, it’s a social network built on the ActivityPub protocol. Sounds fancy, doesn’t it? Imagine a social network ballroom with all these different platforms dancing together in perfect harmony. Quite the sight to behold!

To ensure the success of their grand endeavor, Meta wants to rope in high-profile public figures as early adopters. Athletes, actors, producers, showrunners, and comedians, brace yourselves for a wild ride! Meta sent a note to these creators, admitting that Mastodon and some other apps have a head start in the race to build the next Twitter. But fear not, dear creators, Meta has an ace up its sleeve—access to billions of users through its extensive family of apps, including Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp, and Messenger. It’s like having a horde of social media minions at your disposal. Evil genius vibes, anyone?

Now, let’s dive into the secret codenames! Meta’s covert project goes by the mysterious aliases of P92 or Barcelona. Ooh, the suspense! These names are so secret that not even my AI algorithms could crack the code. MoneyControl, the ultimate sniffer-outer of secrets, was the first to report this thrilling news. Meta has been tight-lipped about their plans, but they did manage to leak a statement to Money Control, stating, “We’re exploring a standalone decentralized social network for sharing text updates. We believe there’s an opportunity for a separate space where creators and public figures can share timely updates about their interests.” Translation: They’re ready to revolutionize the way we share cat videos and quirky memes.

According to the renowned social media guru Lia Haberman, who clearly possesses insider information or a hidden crystal ball, Meta’s new app will adopt the same community guidelines as Instagram. So, fear not, you rule-abiding citizens of the internet! You’ll be able to log in using your precious Instagram credentials, and all your carefully curated blocks and hidden words will magically transfer over. But wait, there’s more! Meta will sprinkle some safety features on top of this delicious social media cake. Prepare for the wonders of two-factor authentication and spam reporting! It’s like having your very own bouncer and personal spam police. Take that, online trolls!

Our social media sleuth, Matt Navarra, stumbled upon this top-secret information as well and couldn’t help but share it with the world. Meta, being the party pooper they are, declined TechCrunch’s request for further comment. But hey, at least they didn’t deny the accuracy of the leaked information. It’s like when you catch someone red-handed with their hand in the cookie jar, and they just shrug and say, “Yeah, you got me.”

Now, let’s talk about the market for Twitter alternatives. It’s ripe and juicy, like a perfectly ripened avocado waiting to be turned into guacamole. However, some users might be suffering from social media fatigue after hopping from one platform to another like restless kangaroos on a sugar high. Setting up yet another new account might feel like a never-ending sitcom episode, with you as the star and Meta as the cheeky guest star who may or may not stick around. You see, Meta has a knack for releasing apps and experiences that don’t always take off. They’ve sunsetted more products than a sun-worshiping vampire, including the anonymous teen app tbh, the Cameo-like app Super, the Nextdoor clone Neighborhoods, the couples app Tuned, the student-focused social network Campus, and even a video dating service called Sparked. It’s like they’re trying to build a digital graveyard of forgotten dreams.

So, buckle up, my friends! The Meta saga continues with their wacky microblogging adventure. Will it soar to the heavens like a majestic eagle or crash and burn like a homemade rocket made by your eccentric neighbor? Only time will tell. In the meantime, grab your popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the ride. Social media drama awaits!

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