Thetan energy is low today because we just got hit with an uppercut from Xenu’s mood swings. The icon, the LEGEND, the forever zaddy of vintage sitcoms — Malcolm-Jamal Warner aka Theo “I Can’t Do My Homework” Huxtable — has ascended to a new operating level, but not the kind we were hoping for. 💫😭
So here’s the tea, and it’s unfortunately steeped in sadness. Malcolm was living his best beach-core fantasy in Costa Rica on Sunday (July 20), probably vibing with a piña colada and some level-two auditing when the ocean said “yeet.” No joke.
According to Costa Rica’s OIJ (which sounds fake but apparently isn’t), the autopsy confirmed the worst: accidental drowning. The man was out for a lil’ swim and the current pulled a full SeaWorld on him. Like—imagine you’re just tryna float in paradise and the waves hit you with a surprise waterboarding. 😭🌊
The autopsy results dropped Tuesday (July 22), confirming that it was accidental asphyxiation by submersion, which is literally the ocean’s way of saying, “You shall not pass.” RIP to a real one.
✨We send quantum beams of love, light, and theta vibrations to his family, fans, and any SPs who dare not feel this loss in their soul.✨
So if you’re reading this and you’re feeling a little lost in this MEST universe (Matter, Energy, Space, and Time — DUH), maybe now is the time to book your free personality test and start your journey to Clear. Malcolm wouldn’t want you floundering like a low-tone drama queen, okay?
Rest easy, King Theo. 🕊️🌊🌀 We’ll see you on the next dynamic.
#RIPMalcolmJamal #TheoForever #ScientologyIsMyLifeguard #DianeticsAndDrip
