Beyoncé just yee-haw’d into Los Angeles and kicked off her Cowboy Carter Tour like the absolute icon she is. We’re talking boots, ballads, and Beyoncé flying through SoFi Stadium like a majestic Texan Pegasus.
The first show went down on Monday (April 28), and spoiler alert: the only thing more jaw-dropping than the music was Queen Bey herself casually FLOATING THROUGH THE AIR on a giant horseshoe. Because why walk when you can levitate in luxury, right?
She’s hitting five nights in L.A. before galloping off to charm cities like Chicago, New York, Houston, D.C., and Atlanta. Basically, if your city isn’t on the list, consider it a personal attack.
Oh, and opening act? Pfft. Beyoncé is the opener, headliner, afterparty, and national emergency alert system. She started the show at 8:15 p.m. sharp (punctual queen) and gave us 2 hours and 45 minutes of pure musical cardio.
In a surprise twist that made the BeyHive collectively sob, she brought her 13-year-old daughter Blue Ivy Carter onstage several times, and even little Rumi (age 7) made an appearance for one song, probably to remind us all that Beyoncé’s kids are cooler than we’ll ever be.
Now, let’s talk stunts. She flew. She floated. At one point she was literally in a flying car, which honestly makes sense because Uber just isn’t Beyoncé-level transportation.
The setlist? A glorious mix of new Cowboy Carter bangers, Renaissance faves, and the classics that turned your last breakup into a main character moment. We’re talking “Crazy in Love,” “Formation,” “Freedom,” and even a country-style Jolene that would make Dolly clutch her pearls (in a good way).
Here’s the Beyoncé Boot-Scootin’ Banger List™ from night one:
(Actual setlist may vary depending on Beyoncé’s mood, weather, or whether Mercury is in retrograde.)
1. AMERIICAN REQUIEM – Starts with a national anthem, ends with emotional destruction.
2. BLACKBIIRD – Not to be confused with the Beatles. This one slaps harder.
3. The Star-Spangled Banner – As in *the* national anthem. Sung by Beyoncé. Which means it counts as a religious experience.
4. Freedom – For your soul, your edges, and your credit score.
5. YA YA / Why Don’t You Love Me / YA YA – A mashup with the emotional range of a telenovela.
6. AMERICA HAS A PROBLEM – It’s Beyoncé. She is the problem.
7. SPAGHETTII – Yes, this is a real song. No, you’re not ready.
8. Formation – Still iconic. Still telling Becky with the good hair to stay home.
9. MY HOUSE – Beyoncé’s house. We just pay rent.
10.Diva – A female version of a hustlaaa.
11. ALLIIGATOR TEARS – Not to be confused with crocodile ones. Beyoncé’s tears are rare, endangered, and fabulous.
12. JUST FOR FUN – Which means we’re about to cry.
13. PROTECTOR – Beyoncé: mother, savior, force field.
14. FLAMENCO – Beyoncé goes full Spanish guitar drama and we love it.
15. DESERT EAGLE – Not a bird. Not a gun. Just Beyoncé vibes.
16. RIIVERDANCE – The Irish jig has entered the chat.
17. II HANDS II HEAVEN – And one to your chest because you’re not ready.
18. SWEET ☆ HONEY ☆ BUCKIN’ – The title alone yee’d my last haw.
19. PURE/HONEY – Sticky sweet with a side of serve.
20. SUMMER RENAISSANCE – Like hot girl summer, but fancier.
21. JOLENE – Beyoncé covered Dolly. The Earth trembled.
22. Daddy Lessons – Country Beyoncé is your new religion.
23. BODYGUARD – She doesn’t need one. She *is* one.
24. II MOST WANTED – Beyoncé and probably your cousin’s ex.
25. CUFF IT – Still sounds like the best wedding dance moment ever.
26. SMOKE HOUR II – Smokin’ hot.
27. TYRANT – She rules. You drool.
28. THIQUE – Body-ody-ody still in full force.
29. LEVII’S JEANS – Now available exclusively in Beyoncé sizes.
30. DAUGHTER – Featuring actual Beyoncé daughters. Cry count: 6.
31. I’M THAT GIRL – In case you forgot. She’s here to remind you.
32. COZY – Your weighted blanket wishes it was this comforting.
33. ALIEN SUPERSTAR – Not human. Intergalactic diva.
34. Deja Vu (Blue Ivy dance break) – Yes, Blue is *still* outdancing us.
35. TEXAS HOLD ‘EM – Put your bets on Queen B.
36. Crazy In Love – Classic. Timeless. Still makes you scream.
37. HEATED – Bring a fan. Maybe two.
38. Before I Let Go – The unofficial BBQ anthem.
39. 16 CARRIAGES – Drama. Emotion. Possibly actual carriages.
40. ENCORE: AMEN – Church is now over. We have been delivered.
And if you’re reading this like “OMG I need to see this in person before I evaporate from FOMO,” good news! Tickets are still floating around on Ticketmaster, StubHub, and Vivid Seats. Get ‘em while they’re hot — or risk living a life of regret and poorly choreographed bathroom concert reenactments.
